...but are we really back yet?

H E L L O once again Pak Friends + Family!

What do you know, its another New Year to catch up on! After our last post back in September 2022, things went a little haywire so to speak and we are here to fill you in on the details of why we are absent once again, on the blog. :)

As most of you probably know, Marlee's health declined during the month of October without any warning signs or notices; life hit us hard all at once. For those of you who have no earthly clue what I, Marlee, am talking about...no worries I'll catch you up to speed! I am here today to go a little more behind the scenes of what all went down since our last blog in September 2022 and what all has unfolded since in 2023, so here we go!

For our last blog post, we were planning on jumping back into the blogging game full heartedly but life had other plans. We tend to write out blogs as we go about different adventures, when we can. Several drafts are usually sitting ready to go, just waiting for the final pictures + details to be put on them. This past blog, we were ready to start sending out the blogs more regularly with hopes of inspiring along the way to go out venturing or to even stay home, redecorate by being motivated by our house renovation projects we have tackled over the, now, two years of living in our home. After the post saying we were back ended up back-firing and obviously, we did not come back...until now that is.

September is usually a busy month for us. We celebrate not only our wedding anniversary, but my man's birthday as well so we tend to stay rather busy exploring + celebrating during that time. Plus, the fall period is a great time to adventure out more in the PNW. From bright, green lush colors of summer changing into their bright, fading fall colors, there is a lot of beauty to be seen. We spent most of our time on the beautiful coast of Oregon, then spent time camping with friends to wrap up our summer ending.

While wrapping up our summer and embracing fall creeping in, we found ourselves adventuring the North Cascades National Park of Washington, chasing the colors of change of the deciduous conifer trees, better known as Larch Trees. This type of conifer tree is a rare find. They are the only conifers that shed their pine needles along with changing colors from a foresty green to a striking yellow, almost orange near the ending of their shedding process in fall, getting prepared for winter. When you catch a glimpse of these "golden trees" in between the other conifers, you feel like you just won the Willy Wonka golden ticket. The beauty seeing the distinct change is unmatched. Fall is definitely the best time to catch the color change, but there is a small window to see the change.

As there are several trails to choose from in the park with not only great views but larches as well, it was hard to decide which one to pick. The trail we ended up on totaled to be about a 12 mile out and back trip. We completed the trail with ease with our two doggies but of course felt the mileage afterwards. We planned to catch the sunrise originally to be at a certain point for "the shot", but did not make it exactly in time. There were still plenty of photo opts + views to soak in as the sun was rising and peaking over the mountains. What a beautiful day that was. Coming off high on this trip, excited for winter being right around the corner along with family coming to visit us in Oregon for their first time, we had no idea what was truly waiting around the corner for us once we got back home.

To start, we were supposed to really have company on the week that we chased the larches. Plans had to be adjusted due to covid exposures on my family's side, deciding to wait another week before flying out to keep it safe and not spread germs. Little did we know, that pushing back a week ended up being a godsend. I'm not saying that because we finally got to check off "larch hunting" on our bucket list but because of what happened in between that time and after. Timing was oddly perfect.

The night of October 18th our lives were flipped upside down. Only one day prior to my parents flying in a delayed week already, I ended up having seizures in the middle of the night while asleep. At first, Garitt was thinking I was having a nightmare or something as I tend to do when I'm exhausted, but not this time. After realizing I was not in dreamworld, he turned the light on to find me out of my mind in a sense. I was seizing, uncontrollably, sitting up in bed while slamming my head on our headboard; he knew then my nightmare was in real life and I needed medical attention pronto.

At this time, not knowing what in the world was going on, Garitt began to carry me to our car to take me to the ER himself while being on the phone with the 911 operators. Right as he got to the top of our staircase, I start going into a grand mal seizure. The first seizure was just a sneak preview of what was going to happen next...something we would have never expected with having no prior signs of health issues before this time, seizures at that. During my grand mal seizure, I lost consciousness again but worse. I began foaming at the mouth, losing my pulse, and CPR/chest compressions were needed all while an ambulance/first responders were needed even quicker than Garitt could've driven to the ER. To our luck, all of the first responders showed up so fast! It chokes me up every time thinking about how quick, not only was my husband to respond the way he did to help me + get me help, but how quickly the medical team came to action that night. All efforts were truly life saving.

Needless to say, I ended up in the ER that night, not waking up remembering a thing as to what might have happened and how I ended up in a gown in ICU. My husband was right by my side when I woke up to help better explain what the heck was going on. Scans, test, bloodwork, MRI's all were taken to try to pin point what was happening in my body. This ended up being a worst case scenario type deal. They found a tumor in the right frontal lobe of my brain. The tumor was the reason for my seizures to occur. Little did we know what would end up coming about after that...

Of course surgery was number one needed sooner than later to remove this intruder to be able to begin to heal. After discussions with my surgeon and doctor, I talked them into pushing my surgery back a week due to my parents coming in along with me wanting to cope before having to go straight into surgery. Everything all happened so quickly, we had no time to process what was to come next.

I had gone into the ER around midnight, so it was the beginning of a very long next day to come. My parents were coming in later that evening and I was released early afternoon prior to their arrival. Garitt had to do the tough part of calling them ahead of time to explain what was going on. Sadly, they had to travel with that heavy on their minds and felt like they could not get here quick enough. They made it in and all was well that night. Of course we were exhausted, confused, and feeling all the feels at this point. The next morning, we were having coffee and chit-chatting, catching up when all of a sudden, I stopped mid conversation with my mom and started drifting off. She kept calling my name, but I was not with it one bit. Although telling her I wasn't seizing when she would ask, I was actually seizing unknowingly. She tried to snap me out of it but my mild seizures were continuing on. Luckily, the seizures were only mild at this point because I was heavily medicated on seizure meds to help keep things at bay, just in case, until my postponed surgery.

So once again, the ambulance is called out and I was loaded onto a stretcher and into the back again for another ride to the ER. This time, I remembered this trip a little bit more but still not completely as I was in and out of seizures the whole ride. I was welcomed back in with a team of awesome nurses and was taken care of immediately until my surgeon could be notified. It was then, we knew the surgery needed to happen and could not wait a week longer. They scheduled me for surgery on the 22nd, and so begins a new story of our lives.

Thinking once they removed the tumor, all would be well, this unfortunately was not the case. Peep the picture on the right (or above) of the actual tumor. I apologize in advance if you are squirmy when it comes to kinda gory things. 😅 My surgery went great overall; 100% of my tumor was removed, wow! I did have a baby stroke during surgery, but that was slightly anticipated due to the procedure happening. There was a 3-4cm mass being removed from my brain, so you could imagine how heavy duty the surgery was. My surgeon was absolutely incredible. I cannot praise her enough for her skillful hands, brilliant mind and kind spirit. She even braided my hair to not have to shave too much of it for the surgery. She was also a snowboarder so could relate to me and what I was fearing to lose due to this procedure. As of course, the season was coming along and I needed to know how long the recovery would be, priorities right? I even got to have a picture taken of my brain, really wild to see!! (Message us if you'd like to see it too!) As well as surgery went, what we were not expecting were the results that ended up coming back from my biopsy that was taken of my tumor.

We were hoping if anything were to come back, it would be benign. Boy, were we wrong. It ended up coming back; one as cancerous and two, being an Anaplastic Oligodendroglioma Grade III. Sounds pretty intense huh? Yeah, it was rough hearing those words over the phone and in person as well. So much unfolded after these results came back in, it was hard to even understand what actually was happening in front of our eyes.

Being labeled at a grade III wasn't really ideal, as it is a "faster growing" type of oligodendroglioma than a grade II. But let's be real, it all generally sucks. Nobody expects nor wants to hear those words, "you have cancer" told to them; incurable brain cancer at that. So yeah, it was a lot to take in, especially everything that follows after the diagnosis. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), I am really supposed to be going under treatment with radiation and chemotherapy. Thankfully for my team of amazing doctors, I am not having to do so at the moment.

This type of brain cancer is a rare type but also finicky. Depending on the size and location, really tells all with the surgery approach, recovery and side effects that can occur. It is a cancer that is incurable and has a high rate of coming back at any point in time, anywhere in my brain again. Surgery might always be an option, depending on the location, but radiation/chemotherapy treatment is also on the table at this point. Research and further studies are in the works, as they are finding better treatments to help fight this disease with, so we are hopeful. The odds are not in my favor but things could always be worse. Still sucks though, but I have come to terms with it all. It knows I am going to give it one hell of a fight every day of my life and needs to stay away for its own sake. 😉

Here come all of the new doctors entering my new stage of life; an oncologist, two neurologists, a radiologist, my awesome surgeon + her team, and so on. My first appointment after my diagnosis started with an oncologist. Not the most fun place to be starting out after such a traumatic surgery and diagnosis, but that is where we landed. What a job to have to deliver the not so great news to patients all day; my heart hurt from just being in there, knowingly why people were in there but really hoping better for them all. My oncologist basically explained everything to us as to what the odds looked like, what treatment would look like, what to expect and to know, and that I can always call to ask more questions. Kinda left dumbfounded, as again, it was just a lot to process within a matter of 2 weeks.

Leaving my oncologist's office, I did not feel the best. I was choked up, trying to put on a strong face for our family in town but also losing myself a bit too. It just didn't feel fair, but again, I was ready to fight what life was throwing at me. A couple of days after my oncologist's appointment, I then had my next meeting with my next new doctor; a radiologist. My radiologist is the one to call the shots when it comes to treatment at the end of the day. He is in charge of dosage, procedure(s), scans, and such during what would be my treatment for this type of cancer. Before meeting with him, his nurse was running through the whole procedure of what I was going to need to expect and how treatment was/is going to be with chemotherapy and radiation. I have a whole packet of what it looks like and trust me, it is not ideal. Thankfully though, after talking with my radiologist, he has felt that it is best, not only due to my age (30 at the time), that we might be dealing with a slower grower than we think. I was not expecting that great news coming into his office that day. To be honest, I was ready to burst into tears being in there but instead cried happy tears leaving the office.

We ended up having connections through family for a referral to the Mayo Clinic. We decided to get a second opinion, as most people should just to confirm what they have been hearing and be sure they are on the right path of treatment. Mayo sees a lot more gliomas than our local hospital, so it was very beneficial for us to hear another brilliant doctor out to help with treatment options/plans. All of my doctors are in touch and have been great with helping guide me through this new process. I am extremely grateful for the medical team we have put together thus far.

I am proud to say at 11 months out of craniotomy surgery, I am still cancer free as of now. I have been having MRI scans every three months since last October 2022 and all scans leading to this point have been clean; meaning no new growth. Although, looking at my MRI's more and more, they have found a shadow they are keeping their eyes out for on the left side of my brain. They say it could be scar tissue from a previous brain injury (or several) growing up. As I did play sports, I was pretty rough and tough as a kid. We are hoping that is all that it is, if anything. So far it has no change either upon my scans. It is just good to know they have their eyes on it and are constantly checking me at 3 months to really be ahead if anything were to change in my brain. My overall healing process and looks of my wound have been great. Not easy by any means, but still has been better than expected.

It has been really cool to watch and compare my scans every three months to see how my healing is going. A big ole ice cream scoop has been taken out of my brain and still is blank in that spot to this day, as it will be for the rest of my life as long as no growth returns. My scar is barely noticeable, which is insane. I have a few little lumps from where they probably cracked opened my skull to get in. Nothing though you can really tell, especially if you did not know what my story was. I am still on seizure meds, as it has been highly recommended by both of my neurologists to stay on them for at least the first two years. I have also found different types of natural supplements to add into my mix of meds. We have had information overload, in so many different types of ways that we feel comfortable with how things are going and trust the process moving forward.

It has been quite the transition of healing but I am doing it. I could not have done it without the support of my husband, our family and friends. My husband though has really knocked it out of the park. He has been so supportive and been there when I go through the waves of healing. It has been a roller coaster of a ride but we are doing the damn thing. I even got back to riding the snowboard after my 3 months check clearance! That was really the highlight of my long, winter healing journey. Being able to get back on the board and cruise (with a little more caution of course) but still riding like I used to was wild. I got to ride with my friends again and also got to ride with new friends! It was a fun season that was not looking the best going into it at first.

For the most part, that covers almost everything! Although it isn't the most detailed, it is a piece of the start of our new journey. I am hoping to do more stories about my journey and sharing more behind the knife and the healing process. Who knows, maybe my story could help someone else going through what I am going through. Along with my husband as well, his health journey with ulcerative colitis has been quite the ride too. Between the both of us, we have quite the stories to tell! Shoot, even our dogs have had their own medical issues as well over the years. If you ever want to know more about either of our journeys (or even the doggies' 😉) please feel free to reach out. We would love to hear others' stories, healing process and be there to support one another along the way!

As always, thank you for being here and sticking around waiting for our post(s). We appreciate all of your support! Feedback is always welcomed as well. Subscribe if you aren't already as well to be the first to know when new blogs post.

Stay wild Pak friends!

Peace + Love

xx,

The Pak

"You do not have to carry the burden of everything. There is a lot that is out of your control and there is also endless peace that reminds you that it is okay to take this day by day, for even though you cannot see it, new things are blooming while you wait."

-Morgan Harper Nichols

"Be proud of how you've been handling these past months. The silent battles you fought, the moments you had to humble yourself, wiped your own tears and pat yourself on the back. Celebrate your strength."

-Unknown